As a child
I did childhood things
I packed a small bag of clothes
A journal, my one-eyed doll
and fled from war
The fireworks popped houses off the streets
Shattered and exploded
I hide among the debris
When I was raped and beaten
I was the cold mud and the roots
beneath my body, rustic roads
The maggots of the dead were my citizens
The worms, the trains
My blood, the smoke from the chimneys
In the darkness of the ghetto street
I was a ninja in a forgein land
guarded by red branches hiding
as the gun shots ran on window glass
I snuck across the ground under abandoned cars
hid behind old burnt out homes
Flipped over piss stained mattress
A child with missing sneakers
had penny candy by his side
with a bullet in his brain
So I took his candy and savored the sweetness
as I hid in a mulberry tree until the hungry blue
zombies came and went
When my belly was swollen and empty and my back
bare I was a monkey girl and searched
for apples and pears and blackberries and goose berries
I scavenged wild morel mushrooms and dandelions and greens
I sucked up tiny green sour grapes
I climbed and swung
when I found a fruit I’d eat
the core and worms and all
If I fell and got bloodied, I hid it
It was a curse. I didn’t limp
When I found nothing to eat
And a warm AK 47 in my hands
I was a great hero
when I killed the hawk men
and freed my homeland
The people would throw me a feast of roasted
venison and turkey and pies and cakes
With juices and butter and sweet red wines
with songs and dances with large walls and warm fires
I’d have a dry warm safe bed one day,
I would have people, I dreamed as I aimed into battle
felt the sting and pound of the ground
And my fallen brothers coming at me
In the winter snow with frozen toes inside plastic bags
I was the first to explore so far north
I followed the smell of bear and stole into old ice caves
I made a house under the great pines
broke the ice and fished with my hair and beer can
I followed the river and stole north
I stole bitter acorns from squirrels
when I found a dead thing it did not go to waste
Covered in scraps of lost artifacts
I was the last of my exploration party
My one armed doll chewed and rotten
my journal wet and dirty showed the map of my trail
well beyond where dragons or fairies ever go
I pushed on until the trail softened underfoot,
There I stepped into sinking brown mud
grasping for the first of wild leeks,
with rocks in my in mouth
I was beaten with bondage
I was warrior captured
forced to labor for the enemy
I would not shame self by crying out
When the demon goats shoved me in a bag
And throw me in the back of a pickup truck
I did not panic like the screaming
children under me
I found the seam and breathed slow
I did not cry for help
I saved my energy for the chance to run
when I had it, I ran in the shadows
barefoot with only the rope
that bound my hands behind my back
I ran til the city was new
and my legs strong enough
to kill and the rope a bracelet of freedom
I stole food and shoes and diamonds and life
I was a master spy behind enemy lines
I stole until I had enough to find home
In middle of a concrete street
I gave birth to a blue dead jar
it was a tiny fluffy head SOS sent out to sea
riding the waves and currents to bring back aid
It’s dark eyes searching for an island of refuge
a man of honor
When it came again and lived I hid it
and gave it all I could
I gave pieces of myself for coins
to buy it blanket and food
I gave everything
still, I sent it out to sea
Four times I sent an SOS
Until my blood found the riptides and the sea turtles
met the mermaid queen on the corral of the sea
When the sickness came
I could not walk, my knees swelled
my body ached and my scalp was a drum
for the great wolf chief to beat with his tail
I was poisoned by the evil hound
who wanted me for his bone
Under his jagged teeth
I pounded my fists into his mouth
I splintered and my marrow filled his belly
Covered in dirt, wearing lice
I walked hand and hand with my sister
With one mismatched sandal each and bone thin
I was blessed and happy
When the nights were cold I was her blanket
And She, my pillow
We ate avocados and little fish
when luck and pennies were on our side
We were best friends, ladies on a stroll
In the darkness I heard her scream
I tried to hold onto her
Her finger nails dug into my body
Tore my flesh
her hair was in my clenched fists
Her blood under my nails
the dark shadow lizard
Dragged her away screaming
and left me alone in our rock pile home
I was in the shadow of a great temple
writing my name with my wand
To bless the yellow dirt
when a blast went hard and heavy
I could not hear but the ringing of ice cream truck
At the park where children yelled and played
I could taste the metal in mouth
concrete and salt in my flesh
I was buried under the rubble
the stick still in my hand I was a wizard
becoming all powerful but first I had to fall
through the black hole to other side
and find the evil wizard
who had blasted my temple
let blood magic into the world
I had no hair, on a sheet
I laid hooked up to robots
my body shook with cold sweat ache
The vomit came out my mouth
shit and piss was cold and sore on my body
My eyes could not focus
Blurry and heavy all around me was tiny grey
hands holding me down
I could smell their copper and plastic spaceships
The aliens were inside me
trying to harvest my body
I had to fight so I made a clone of myself
climbed in my nose and slayed the creatures
until I could no longer
badly wounded I found my heart
kicked it when slowed
I kicked until my legs fell off
then I punched until my arms rotted off
Then I head butted and finally bit
Until their beeps and buzzing stopped
I could not feel myself
I was no longer a child
Annieepoetry 